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Act Confident When Life Feels Overwhelming and Believe in Yourself Like Never Before
Have you ever felt a knot in your stomach before a big presentation, or a wave of doubt before asking for that promotion?
You’re not alone. We all face moments when our inner belief wavers. But here’s a simple secret:
Act confident. Yes. Fake it until you make it. This simple strategy is a powerful game-changer.
None of us was ever truly confident doing anything for the very first time. Who do you know who became an expert the first time they did anything?
Don’t beat yourself for something you simply haven’t practiced enough.
Confidence isn’t a magical gift; it’s a skill we practice and build over time.
You build confidence while you take action. Not before or after. When you believe in yourself, you can become confident as you do the thing you are supposed to do.
You can even outperform highly skilled people who lack that crucial self-belief.
This isn’t just a feel-good mantra; it’s backed by science. Your body and posture can literally tell your brain how to feel. We all know that our brain controls us.
The Science of “Faking It Till You Make It”
The idea of “fake it until you make it” might sound shallow, but in the realm of confidence, it holds a high truth.
When we say “fake it until you make it,” we aren’t saying be inauthentic. No. This is all about leveraging the power our mind has over our body
The Power Pose: Changing Your Brain’s Chemistry
One of the most famous studies supporting this comes from social psychologist Amy Cuddy and her research on power posing.
Her work suggests that simply holding certain expansive, open postures like standing with your hands on your hips (think Superman) or leaning back with your feet on a desk for just two minutes can actually change your body’s chemistry.
Specifically, these “power poses” can lead to:
- Increased Testosterone: This hormone is associated with feelings of dominance, power, and courage.
- Decreased Cortisol: This is the stress hormone. Lower levels mean less anxiety and more calmness.
So, when you act confident physically, your body starts to produce the very hormones that make you feel confident and less stressed.
It’s a feedback loop. Your posture influences your hormones, which in turn influence your thoughts and feelings.
You’re not just pretending; you’re actively rewiring your internal state.
The Brain’s Belief System: From Body to Mind
Our brains constantly receive signals from our bodies. When you slouch, avoid eye contact, or speak softly, your brain interprets these physical cues as signs of fear, insecurity, or submission.
It then adjusts your emotional state to match, which then makes you feel less confident.
Conversely, when you pretend to be confident, like being tall, making eye contact, using open gestures, your brain receives signals of power and readiness to achieve what you need it.
It then releases the chemicals that reinforce these feelings and make you genuinely feel more self-assured.
This is called embodied cognition: your physical state directly influences your psychological state. You literally “think” with your body.
The Pygmalion Effect: How Expectations Shape Reality
It’s not just how you feel internally; it’s also about how others perceive you. The Pygmalion Effect, or self-fulfilling prophecy, describes how higher expectations lead to increased performance.
If you pretend to be confident, people tend to believe in you more. They expect more from you. This positive expectation from others can, in turn, make you perform better.
Think about a leader who walks into a room radiating self-assurance. People are more likely to listen, trust, and follow them. This isn’t necessarily about their initial skill level, but about the belief they project.
Their perceived confidence encourages others to invest in them, often leading to opportunities that allow them to gain more competence.
Confidence vs. Competence: Getting in the Room and Closing the Deal
Here’s a vital truth we often overlook: Confidence gets you in the room, and competence closes the deal.
Consider this: you could be the most skilled person in the world at something. You might be a genius coder, a brilliant writer, or an innovative artist.
But if you walk into a job interview, a pitch meeting, or a networking event slouched, mumbling, and avoiding eye contact, you might never even get a chance to show your skills. Your lack of perceived confidence acts as a barrier to your success.
On the other hand, someone with slightly less experience but who walks in with their head high, a firm handshake, and clear, articulate speech, immediately commands attention and respect. They project an aura of capability.
They get the interview. They get the second meeting. They might even get the job over a more qualified, but less confident, individual.
Why? Because people invest in your beliefs before they invest in your skills.
They need to believe you can do it before they care about how well you can do it.
Competence is essential for long-term success. Once you’re in the room, once you have the opportunity, your skills must deliver.
But confidence is the key that unlocks that door. It opens pathways that will remain closed to the hesitant ones.
Disclaimer! Hey, friend! Quick heads-up:
I’m a mama, DIYer, lifestyle author, and novelist sharing personal tips, cultural practices, and what’s worked for me over the years. Some links on this site are affiliate links, including Amazon Associate links. That means I may earn a small commission if you buy through them, at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products I truly use, love, or believe will add value to your life.
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My Grandmother’s Wisdom: “Walk Like You Own the World”
My grandmother always used to say, “Walk like you own the world. Put your chin up high. Hang your heels.”
This wasn’t just old-fashioned advice; it was a deep understanding of embodied confidence. I remember everywhere I went all my life, people always said I walked like a model.
And they never believe when I tell them I am 5 feet 4 inches. People always think I am taller because of the way I walk.
When you believe in yourself, you send powerful signals, both to yourself and to others, that they need to get to know you.
Let’s break down practical ways to act confident through your body and voice:
- Posture: Stand tall. Put your shoulders straight and relax. Imagine you have a book on your head. Now walk with it, never falling off. This open posture makes you appear larger and more powerful. It also literally makes you feel more expansive and less threatened by people.
- Eye Contact: Maintain steady and comfortable eye contact with people at all times. Eye contact communicates honesty, engagement, and self-assurance. Avoid staring at people, but do not dart your eyes away. Let your eyes linger before you shift them away. It shows you are present and unafraid.
- Handshake: Offer a firm and dry handshake. It should be neither bone-crushingly strong nor limp and fleeting. A good handshake conveys reliability and conviction.
- Gestures: Use open and wide gestures (arms uncrossed, palms visible). This signals openness and confidence. Avoid fidgeting, touching your face, or keeping your hands hidden, as these can suggest to people that you are nervous.
- Voice: Speak clearly, articulately, and at a moderate pace. Avoid mumbling or speaking too quickly. Vary your tone to convey enthusiasm and conviction. A confident voice commands attention. Even if your voice trembles slightly, keep going.
- Smile: A genuine smile disarms, creates rapport, and makes you appear approachable and self-assured. It also has a positive feedback loop on your own mood and confidence.
By consciously adopting these behaviors, you will immediately start to be confident.
Real-World Scenarios: Where Acting Confident Changes Everything
Let’s look at how acting confident plays out in various situations:
- Job Interviews/Promotions: You might feel butterflies, but when you walk in with a confident stride, make strong eye contact, and articulate your answers clearly, you project capability. Even if you’re nervous inside, acting the part increases your chances of being perceived as the right fit.
- Public Speaking: Most people dread public speaking. But if you stand tall, use purposeful gestures, project your voice, and look at your audience, you will appear more credible and engaging. Your audience will feel more confident in you, even if your knees are shaking.
- Networking: Instead of awkwardly hovering, approach someone with an open posture and a ready smile. Introduce yourself clearly. Ask engaging questions. This immediately makes you more memorable and approachable, opening doors to valuable connections.
- Starting a New Venture: Entrepreneurship is full of unknowns. Many highly intelligent people never launch anything because they overanalyze every risk. Those who succeed often dare to start, despite imperfections. They trust in themselves, in their vision, convincing others to buy into their idea before it’s fully formed.
- First Dates/Social Situations: Shyness can prevent connections. When you trust yourself, you engage in conversations more freely, share more openly, and make others feel more at ease. This increases your chances of building a genuine rapport.
Building Genuine Confidence Through Practice
The beauty of acting confident is that it eventually leads to being confident.
It’s a continuous practice, not a one-time fix. Here’s how to solidify that internal belief:
- Set Small, Achievable Goals: Don’t try to conquer your biggest fear all at once. Break it down. If public speaking terrifies you, start by speaking up once in a small meeting. Then volunteer to lead a small team discussion. Each small win builds genuine confidence.
- Practice Visualization: Before a challenging situation, close your eyes. See yourself performing confidently. Visualize yourself walking tall, speaking clearly, and achieving your desired outcome. Your brain struggles to differentiate between vividly imagined and real experiences.
- Use Positive Self-Talk: Challenge negative thoughts directly. Replace “I can’t do this” with “I will give this my best shot.” Replace “I’m going to fail” with “I will learn, no matter the outcome.”
- Step Outside Your Comfort Zone Regularly: True confidence grows when you unfailingly push your boundaries. Deliberately choose to do things that make you a little uncomfortable. Each time you face a fear and act despite it, your comfort zone expands.
- Learn from “Failures” as Data: When things don’t go as planned, don’t view it as personal failure. View it as valuable data. What did you learn? What can you adjust next time? This reframing removes the sting of imperfection and encourages continued action.
- Find a Mentor or Role Model: Observe someone you admire for their confidence. What do they do? How do they carry themselves? You don’t have to copy them, but you can draw inspiration and adapt their strategies to your own style.
The Unstoppable You: Trusting Your Beliefs
Always remember that people will always invest in your beliefs before they invest in your skills.
Think about it.
An investor doesn’t just look at a business plan; they look at the founder’s conviction. A hiring manager doesn’t just scan a resume; they look for the candidate’s self-assurance.
Your belief in yourself is contagious. It inspires others to believe in you, too.
It’s time to unleash the powerhouse that you are. Your intelligence is a gift. Do not let it be trapped by self-doubt. Use it to strategize, to learn, and to grow after you have taken that bold first step.
The world is waiting for your unique contribution, your voice, and your ideas.
So, what’s stopping you? The only thing standing in your way is often your hesitation. The truth is, you’ve got everything you need. You just need to show it.
It’s time to act confidently.
It’s time to walk like you own the world, chin up high, ready to take on whatever comes next.
The more you practice acting confident, the more confident you’ll genuinely become.
What’s one situation where you will choose to act confident today, even if you don’t feel it entirely?
And just like that, another chat wraps up! It is always a pleasure spending time with you.
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With all my love,
